It's three days until by 23rd birthday, but all I can think about is what I need for my future.
A house to call my own home (expensive taste gives me anxiety when I think about the extra costs I'm going to incur with:
- Concrete flooring
- Timbre flooring
- Porcelain tiling
- Armadillo & Co. rugs
- Furniture
- Kitchen appliances
- Manchester and Linens
- Custom made kitchen
- Shutters
- Entertaining area
- Fire place
- Upgraded cornicing and skirting boards
- High ceilings
Everyone around me is getting new houses and it's not that I'm jealous or envy their lifestyles, but it makes me wonder what have I wasted my past few years of life doing? Uni has been super important to me and working out what I actually want to do with my life. I actually have savings now and it feels so good seeing it grow.
But why wasn't I doing this before?
Am I too immature about my future and in a dream world when I need to be realistic about my life?
I've always wanted the lovely husband, living in a beautiful home with two or three children to put in the Range Rover but is this all things I should be concerned with right now? Am I asking for too much? Baby clock is always ticking but it just seems like it is OK now to wait until you're 30 to finally be called a 'Mummy'. I'm just scared that it'll come to my early thirties to finally start trying for a baby and it won't happen. I think it's OK for me to worry about the concerns women can have with trying to conceive later than expected and it is something I truly need to think about.
There's still my goal to have a boutique store in Bali but am I now reaching out of my limits and should I return back to Earth? Is it more realistic to think about having a store here in Sydney that is just inspired with Bali?
Maybe I need to step back and appreciate what I already have.
I've got two amazingly supportive parents who would do anything for me and who still love one another after 29 years of marriage. A funny and honest boyfriend who tells it to me straight and pushes me to succeed at everything. A job that has given me the opportunity to take my first step into the interior world, true friends who are there for a good laugh and advice over wine and cheese, and a perfect little puppy who never leaves my side.
God only gives us what he thinks we can handle at a time.
Think more minimalist and be thankful for what I do have, understand what I want and set it as a goal. Not everything has to happen at once.